After a couple of conversations with straight friends who are going through the adoption process, I feel like being queer while adopting definitely has some plus points. In talking about my motivation to adopt, it’s been really straightforward to talk about the fact that for me, parenthood was never going to happen accidentally, or without external help.
I’ve never really wanted to be pregnant, so for me, it was always really going to be adoption, or fertility treatment and a pregnant girlfriend. And given that I’m resolutely single these days, the pregnant girlfriend scenario is ruled out. I’ve not had to have the in-depth social worker conversations about being unable to conceive, or failed fertility treatments. Having said that, a lesbian couple I know have had to field questions about why they’re adopting rather than physically having a child “of their own”, with seemingly little understanding from the questioner about adoption being seen as a *first* resort rather than the last resort when it comes to being a parent.
Maybe I just have a more open-minded social worker. Whatever, it feels like a small bonus.